I am absolutely certain that if Ludlow Porch were within striking distance, he would clobber Barbara Walters smack dab in the face with a whole pan of deep-fried cheese biscuits for her rude behavior last week. And, if I were anywhere nearby, I would help him teach that old bag of bones a lesson in manners.
Yes, Barbara Walters. That snooty old witch that is the lead hen on that television show, “The View” ought to be taken to task for her inane comments.
Last week, Baba Wawa (if you watched Saturday Night Live in the 1970s you understand the reference) attacked Paula Deen – one of the South’s finest cooks - during a segment of that stupid show. Ms. Holier-Than-Thou said, pretty much, that it was Paula’s fault that kids are fat. Well, she actually said Paula was helping to promote childhood obesity with her new cookbook, “Paula Deen’s Cookbook for the Lunchbox Set.”
“This is a cookbook for kids. Obesity is the number one problem for kids today. Everything you have here is enormously fattening. You tell kids to have cheesecake for breakfast! You tell them to have chocolate cake and meatloaf for lunch. Doesn’t it ever bother you that you’re adding to this?” disparaged Walters.
Paula was taken aback by the comments of the skinny scarecrow of what is left of a former television journalist. But, she was polite and explained that she was not suggesting that children should eat everything in the cookbook at one time. “No, I’m not saying that they should eat like this every day,” said Paula.
Paula should have shoved some of the goodies she prepared for the show down Walters’ throat. Oh, I’m not saying she should have done that in retaliation for Walters’ remarks. Paula should have done that to help Walters become a healthy person. She is, after all, a poster child for malnutrition. And filling her mouth with good Paula Deen cooked food is a better alternative than allowing her to spout out any more rudeness.
Walters should have followed the lead of the other women on the show and gobbled up the goodies. Whoopee Goldberg was chowin’ down on Paula’s fried chicken and making no complaints. The other three women were shoveling down strawberry cake and little finger sandwiches made with slices of tomato between light bread with mayonnaise smeared on them for that added flavor.
You see, while Barbara Walters was out learning to be rude, Paula Deen was working for a living and trying to raise her sons doing what she does best – cooking food. She was also learning manners. That is something Barbara Walters lacks.
Any son or daughter of the South knows it is impolite to ask someone to come over and bring the groceries with them without supplying some of your own for sharing as well. You especially do not criticize your guest when she has prepared some of the finest groceries known to mankind. I have eaten Paula Deen’s cooking and I must admit it was wonderful. Uncle Bubba’s cooking ain’t bad, either. If you ever get over to Savannah, try them out yourself. Don’t invite Barbara Walters to tag along. She will only cause a bad case of indigestion.
Childhood obesity is a problem – a big problem. It is not, however, Paula Deen’s cookbook’s fault. If Barbara Walters wants to blame someone or some thing, blame fast food restaurants and soft drink manufacturers. Blame the parents of the obese children for not teaching their children about proper nutrition. Barbara Walters can also blame herself for not doing enough stories about proper nutrition herself. Instead of doing that, she was too busy hob knobbing with the Hollywood and Washington D.C. crowds to worry about children’s health.
There, I have said it. Using the same liberal logic that she employed to blame Paula Deen’s cookbook, I have deduced that childhood obesity is Barbara Walters’ fault. It makes as much sense as blaming a cookbook for promoting obesity at any age.
